Rooster and Human

Yesterday, I finally got something to do in my NGO in Cambodia
my NGO builds houses for people living in poverty and transforms people's life completely
I really like the idea despite they hired a bunch of interns and have nothing for them to do

So the NGO is planning to make a legit documentary video about the successful cases
so they hired a consultant who has been making documentary short films for NGO for many years
She's an Australian lady who has stayed in Cambodia for 11 years
so the staff took us out to the fields and visit those families
just to understand a bit of their background,
meet them and see if they are good for the video
so we visited 5 families in total
and we are picking two eventually for the video production

the Australian lady can speak some basic Khmer
which is really impressive
so she started asking a few questions about their past and their new lives
and jot down some notes on her notebook
when occasionally some chicken or puppies came interrupt a bit

These houses usually do not have tables
so people just sit on the floor or chairs sometimes, if they have
so we were sitting in a circle on the floor
listening to all the inspiring stories
but there's this rooster which just can't stop running around when we are talking

As the lady speaks and tears started rolling down her face
the rooster keeps distracting me with his stupid face and stupid move
you know what I mean if you have seen a rooster before
he walks with his head poking out rhythmically
and when he stops, one of his legs hangs in the air
then he stares at you with those eyes
looking at you as if you have stolen his stuff and didn't give him back

so he keeps entering our circle
staring at us one by one
he was really interested in my friend
coz he stared at my friend for a good two minutes
and my friend was so cute that he stared back at the rooster for another two minutes
eventually the rooster got frustrated
he suddenly screams at my friend and rush towards him
the moment my friend was about to stand up and run
the rooster make a good turn and run to the other side
if this rooster was a football players
I could imagine him doing pretty well in fake tricks

At first I thought the rooster had some mental problems
coz he kept staring at a plastic tray on the lowest level of the cupboard
and kept murmuring at the plastic tray
I was thinking that this rooster was completely psychic
but when I moved closer
I saw something in the plastic tray
but it was so dark that I couldn't see clearly
(coz I hate carrots)
so I moved closer and finally I realised why he had been murmuring to the tray
there's a hen inside!
a hen with tonnes of eggs underneath her

his wife maybe?
poor hen, got a psychic husband...
he was there talking to her
softly and gently
sweetly and lovingly
his thin body contrasted with the huge and fluffy figure of his wife
his voice was complete opposite to how he yelled at my friend
well, he might make a good husband despite of his mental problem

English
I heard English
the lady finished speaking in Khmer and it's now the interpreter's turn
the lady has 3 children
two outside and one inside her
yes, she's pregnant
she lost her husband a few years ago due to HIV
I looked at her skinny figure
fragile and helpless
lonely and tired

I looked at the chickens again
lovely and sweet
blessed and happy

i felt ironic
there are few families under this roof
the dogs, the chicken and the human
and the human is experiencing the worst among all

they are fair
they have no money
struggling for enough to eat
all they have is a house with a proper roof

when money and material are eliminated
it all comes down to love, health and a shelter
no matter you are human, chicken or dogs
maybe happiness all depend on the same thing after all

Poor NGO internship experience

I haven't been writing for the weekend
although quite a lot of things did happen

On Friday, I asked one of the staffs if there's anything I can do
so he asked me to manage the NGO's Facebook page and perhaps write a few posts
I found a few really nice videos on the international page
but I realised that most of the existing posts happen in Cambodia
it would be weird if I post a few American videos now
so I told him about my concern
but he said it's fine to have a few stories going on

so I eventually posted the international video
and within a few hours the director called Benji and ask him to take it down

wonderful
so I have nothing to do for the whole week at the office
then once I start doing something
they reject it

Nonetheless, they keep updating the Facebook page with really shitty videos taken with phone and edited by mobile app
with a few lines written in white and Times New Roman which you can barely read

so you actually have the need of hiring an intern who can actually make video
but you hire her and never use her
so what's the point of hiring her
I know you did not pay for the intern
but still you can't waste people's time like this
I could have spent my summer working at much better companies to actually gain experience and learn stuff
I mean, if you spend a few minutes to think about what the intern could do
I would be the one filming and editing the video and post them up onto the page

I am pretty sure that they have never ever planned anything at all for the interns
I was truly disappointed that such a renowned NGO has such poor organisation skills
If you can't commit to the internship programme, just don't bother to hire
Don't expect me to commit either

Who is Ivan?

If you remember, I mentioned Ivan in one of my previous posts
Well, there were a few Ivans appeared in my life
but the most recent one is kind of funny

So I went to Croatia from Jun 26-29 with a bunch of friends
Since we had an amazing boat trip earlier in Greece
We just wanna redo it
At first, we booked the cheap boat with a lot of people on it
but then we decided to change to a private boat instead
it's like once you started it, you just want more and more

so we rent a private boat with a captain
The captain got on board and was welcoming us
as he looked around he stopped his gaze on me
and he suddenly poke my cheeks and say "look at these!"

So he is a cute chubby old guy
whom I heard from another captain that he has just lost her wife recently
and found sailing the only thing he really likes to do

so after we started sailing for a while
he asks if I wanna cook coffee
I was like why not
so I went to the kitchen and he started teaching me how to cook coffee
I could feel that he was really kind to me

In fact, I was having my period on that day
but I so wanna go into the water
but I'm so scared of putting on tampons
so I just jump in without giving any shits
it was my fifth day anyway

but I always tried to put a towel underneath before I sit
coz I dun wanna stain any white space on the boat
and Emily suddenly came up and asked if she can sit on my towel too
I said no
and she was like "why not" and sat on my towel anyway
then I whispered to her about my period thing
then she stood up and said "okay I understand"
and Daniel saw everything and he started asking me what's wrong
I said nothing but he kept asking "tell me tell me what's wrong"
I kept saying nothing and pushing him away and at that very embarrassing moment
Emily just stood there at the corner laughing
until Daniel's cousin came up and told him "I guess it's a girls' problem"
only then did Daniel shut up finally

At some point they all went to the front of the boat
sitting there enjoying the breeze and chill
but I just didn't wanna move myself and the towel together to the front
too much work
so I just stayed at the back alone
then the captain invited me into the cockpit
gave me a beer and started telling me how much he likes me but didn't know why
he talked to me a lot about Croatia and the scenery and stuff

then we arrived at an island
it was a place of his friend
so the captain went to greet his friends and we all met
at some point he suddenly held me tight and kiss my hair
I was like okayy maybe this is how Europeans act openly

After that we dived and swam a bit on the island
had barbecued chicken as lunch
and then headed back to Zadar
On the way, the captain kept telling me that he loved me or something
"Ich liebe dich! Come to me."
he kept saying this but I pretended that I couldn't hear
so I just laughed and ignored him

I was experiencing so much nostalgia at that moment
as all the memories I had with Andrew kept flashing back
the time when we went to a private island in Malaysia together
first time diving
playing in the water
picking shells
having barbecued chicken at night
all the things we did repeated on that day
I managed to find myself some personal space
staring at the ocean
reminiscing and crying

Suddenly he came up and handed me a leaflet
he circled his name "Ivan" with his phone number on it
and wrote "2100-2130" on the paper
I didn't realise what that mean at first
until he asked me to call or go to him at 9pm that night
I was like
"Bro are you serious?"
I said I'd need to ask my friends
but he said "no, don't tell others. Just you."
I tried to keep a smile on my face and said "okok"

So after I got off the boat
I told all my friends about this
and they were laughing so hard
and then they were like "go out and catch calamari for us"
"Hey it's almost 9pm"
"no wonder it's so cheap!"
"don't worry you got Ivan"
for the rest of the night

I probably felt a bit flattered in the beginning
but to be honest I felt a bit annoyed in the end
the thing is, he could be my grandpa...
At first I thought he liked me because I look like his daughter or something
it was until he asked me to come at night that I knew it wasn't really the case
and I honestly don't know what to feel
happy that I'm actually attractive in someone's eyes?
sad that I'm always attracted to people that I don't really fond much of?

I am used to people's shocked face when I tell them I have never ever dated anyone in my life
but it's not like I've never experienced love
I did fall in love
it's just that it's always either I like him but he doesn't like me,
or he likes me but I don't like him
When is a coincidence ever going to happen?

First Day of Work in Cambodia

Today is my first day of work in Cambodia
I slept really bad last night due to the jet lag
My eyes were wide opened until 5 am
then I woke up at 630 am to go to work

Before I came,
Johnny told me that it takes 20 minutes to go to work everyday
I said it should be fine for me
coz in Vienna, it took me 10 minutes to walk to the u-Bahn everyday
so it's just a double it isn't too bad

but today as I got out of the house
I was shocked
It's not like Vienna where you can have a quiet boulevard to yourself and occasionally think about life
there are motors flying everywhere
literally everywhere
cars are constantly ringing their horns at me
it was crazy hot but I still had to take care of my bag in case someone just snatch it from the motorbikes beside me
and as I reached the crossroad
it was insane
there's a bunch of cars, tuk-tuks and motorbikes stuck in the middle heading to all four directions
no traffic lights, no pedestrians, no crosswalks, no police
all a mess
And after sweating so hard for 20 mins
I finally arrived at the office
which is probably the only thing that meet my expectation
it looks like a normal office

so a girl at the reception brought me up to the room where all other HKU interns work at
then I was not given anything to do
so I started sleeping as I am still in my jet lag
After 2 hours I woke up and the girl gave me a whole bunch of documents
which are quite irrelevant to my scope of work
so I started reading a few lines then it was time for lunch
We called for delivery
it was a really nice beef fried rice
but it was damn hot in the cafeteria
like no aircon under 40 degrees
so even though it tasted good I didn't really enjoy the whole experience
then I went up and started sleeping again
And I chat for a few more hours with other interns
then its 5pm and it's time to go home

Johnny and I went to the shopping mall near our place to shop for some necessity
like hairdryer, shampoo and shower gel those kind of stuff
I spent like a few ten thousands on that
of course in Cambodian Riel
I feel like a millionaire there

the only bad news is that Johnny and Lok Hei are going across the border from Thursday to Sunday
and the others are going to site-visit
So it will be only me staying at the office
that is really really boring
and I'm not even sure if I can get to work and home safely on my own

But I'm sure I'll be fine

Well, to be honest,
the first day really sucks
especially when everyone is already so closed that they stay at the same place
I feel quite left out
but this is the problem of joining late
and I'm not even sure if I really have anything to do in the coming week
if the situation continues
I think I'm just gonna quit and go to another internship in China

Tomorrow will be July 5
It's the day when Daniel (a Singaporean guy I met in Vienna) decides whether to come to Cambodia or not
but I'm trying not to put too much expectation on this
After all, I don't think I'm gonna see him much even he's here in Phnom Penh

Anyway, I'll see how things go

Back to Asia

So my European exchange is completely over
and now I'm already embarking on my new journey in Cambodia
Just a few hours before my flight,
my friend Johnny who is going to have the same internship with me in Cambodia and also found me a place to stay
told me that two of his friends actually got robbed in Cambodia
I was like "so you are telling me now"
so I hopped on the plane with much fear
and there are these Chinese guys sitting next to me
As the air hostess handed us the arrival paper and the custom declaration form
I could see the confusion on their face
They cannot read English
so they began asking me how to fill in that form
and of course and as always, I lend them my helping hand
so this guy next to me started talking to me
mostly about people, economy and business
and apparently he is a businessman
so he didn't really explain to me what he does
but I figured out that it's kind of software those kind of stuff
so he talked to me how many opportunities are out there in China
and even praised me how the-girl-next-door I am and how successful I'll likely to be
*flattered*
At first I thought he is another Ivan (I will explain later who that is)
but later I know that he is a good guy
I know that he has a child and his friend next to him keeps reminding him to buy milk formula
(which is a main product of Hong Kong in the eyes of the Chinese coz their milk formula is kinda poisonous)
After we landed,
we went together to deal with the visa on arrival
again, they did not understand the English on the form
so I explained everything to them
and suddenly,
a Cambodian who speaks Chinese pops up with a custom officer
and they are here to help the Chinese businessmen
and the guy who sat next to me kindly offers to deal with my visa together with theirs
and he revealed to me that because they are buying an island in Cambodia that's why they are super nice to them
I was like "Did I hear correctly? An island? You are buying an island?"
After a while, the officer returns with all our visas,
and we went through the channel where only crew members and officers can pass through
in other words, we surpassed the normal custom
Of course, I gave them my Hong Kong number so that they can contact me in the future if they come to Hong Kong
when I just realised that my WeChat (the text app they use in China) was registered with my Malaysian number
Anyways, they can still call me directly if they like
that shouldn't be a problem
So I was alone again after getting out of the airport
I hopped on a taxi
Exactly like what's written on the Cambodian Tip Website
they give u a small receipt stating the price of 12 USD
then u hopped on the cab telling the the driver where to go
Once I looked at the time again, it's already 2 hours after landing
and apparently my parents and Johnny had already sent me tonnes of messages asking my whereabouts
so I called Johnny immediately to tell him I'm already on the cab
then I texted my parents (separately as usual) that I arrived in Phnom Penh
then the cab dropped me off at the place where we are supposed to meet
so I saw Johnny for the first time
not technically the first but like we never really talked to each other
so it was still kind of the first time
he was wearing really nicely for Cambodia I'd say
carrying an iPad like a professional businessman
it was like 5-min walk away from the place and he is carrying his iPad
okay although I don't look professional at all
almost like a beach bar girl coming off work (which I considered quite local)
I was able to collect myself and keeps laughing things through
I told him that my luggage today is an achievement
coz I learnt to pack lightly after all those European trips and this is like only 24 kg for 2 months
(compared to 30 kg I brought to Malaysia last year)
but he was so gentlemen that he insisted to help me carry up the stairs
but like after two stairs I could see him breathing quite fast
so I offer to help at the last stair up to my room
and of course he said no he could do it
but I insist too
sorry for being kinda feminist, but I really dun think we differ a lot in the ability a taking a suitcase up the stairs
so I handed him iPad and started taking up my suitcase
I used all my force at one goal to contract my biceps
abut the suitcase was barely leaving the ground
no I can do this
I try again for the second time
the suitcase leaves the ground for more then 2 cm
and Johnny starting laughing at the back
like pretty hard
so I just gave up and took back the iPad

So yeh when the suitcase arrives at my room
the room was amazingly big
well rooms everywhere in the world is big compared to Hong Kong's
but still it has two double beds and still enough space for me to do Yoga or whatever
The only thing I concerned was of course
the air-con
and they have it!
although they charge more for air-con
and to my surprise Johnny is not using the air-con at all
he has been using fan all along to save money
that is pretty impressive
but I'm not doing this
like NO WAY
I escape from Vienna because the room has no aircon
I'm not going to sleep in a room at 40 degrees with no freakin aircon
before I came here
Johnny already told me that there's no hot water for shower here
I was so worried because I knew I can't take cold shower
at least I could not
but I don't have a choice now
coz I'd rather stay with someone I know with no hot water shower than staying alone in a nice apartment with hot water bath
so I turned the cold shower on and splashed the water onto my body
freezing cold
fucking freezing cold
but after a minute it got better
I can actually stand it
coz the weather here is kind of too hot

and I met all these amazing Cambodian staying at the same building
In fact, they separate boy's building and girl's building although the two buildings are actually connected
but I was somehow placed in the boy's dorm building opposite to Johnny's room
Probably because we are staying in a legit room instead of sharing the whole floor like a hostel
they think I'm okay staying in a boy's dorm
well actually I'm okay with that
since I'm not sharing the bathroom with all the guys but just Johnny one guy
so everything was pretty good

the place was founded in purpose to hold students who go to school in Cambodia but stay far away from the city without enough money to pay for an apartment in the city
but these people are all very nice
they shared their food with me
welcomed me and introduced themselves to me one by one
I feel really welcomed here and I actually quite like this place

the only thing is that there are super many mosquitoes in my room
like many many
so I spent an hour killing all the mosquitoes in my room
well I think I have killed 60% of them now
not so sure what will I look like when I wake up tomorrow

and my mum is seriously over-reacting
she's like don't be late on the first day of work tmr
when apparently Johnny is never on time
and she even asked Johnny to wait for me to go to work tmr
I bet it's more like I wait for him
as he told me that he never wokes up at the time his alarm rings
and mum even asks me to pay for Johnny's tuktuk too and go to work just to be on time
I was like
"mum, actually there's no one being on time at the office..."
and then she saw the video of the room I took her
and she's like
don't sleep under the aircon, it's bad for your head
okay, in fact the aircon is a bit wind up
I tuned it down to 17 now and Johnny says he doesn't feel a thing
so i dun think my head is likely to be blown away by the super strong air-con

okay now I'll fight the remaining 60% of mosquitoes
gna watch France Vs Iceland tonight if the mosquitoes keeps me awake
miss watching matches with my dear friends in Vienna :(

My Fate with France (real one)

So two weeks ago my brother was coming to Europe with his girlfriend for graduation trip
And I was so thrilled to see him
In fact, I had been excited for about a month

So the plan was that I would go to Paris together with the friends I met in Vienna
then I'll be off joining my brother
then I'll go back to my Vienna friends the other day.

Everything was perfect
I imagined myself going to Eiffel Tower with bro
taking our first selfie ever in life
posting it on Instagram
Valencia filter with a bit of Fade and Vignette
captioned "Can't believe that I bumped into my brother on a random street in Paris! #jk #itwasplanned"
Location: Tour Eiffel (in French looks cool)

Oh talking about Eiffel Tower
I'm gonna share with you about my fate with Eiffel Tower four years ago
So my family and I were on our first ever European Trip
It was a one week trip applied through the travel agency
so basically it's like a bus carrying you and 30 other random funny Hongkongers all over Europe
And a tour guide will arrange everything for you from accommodations to itinerary
including the shitty Chinese meals
yeh, all the way to Europe and hv Chinese meals of chicken with fish soya sauce and European fish with chicken sauce

Same, I was so thrilled about the Eiffel Tower
I had been thrilled for two months
so much expectation
so much excitement

So we arrived at Paris
and the precious free time came
My brother went to walk around the cities and take amazing picture
and Mum and Dad went for shopping, shopping and shopping (hate that)
They went to shops that are either too old for a 16-year-old girl or too expensive for a Form 4 student
So Mum bought a Chanel which the French girl spent an hour to wrap it
Time was running out but how about Dad's Louis Vuitton?
They rushed to LV and grabbed the bag
and went for the super long queue
that line was huge
and if you calculated the estimated waiting time according to the speed of wrapping a Chanel
it would probably take another 2 hours

Time's up! We got to go and meet others up
but they are still way at the back of the queue
No, they weren't going.
And me? I was stuck in the shopping mall together with them
20 other people were there waited for an hour
and my parents are still in the queue
they already missed one tourist spot because of waiting for my parents
so the tour guide decided that they are not waiting anymore
they went to the next item on the itinerary
and that was my beloved Eiffel Tower!

So they went there
without me
I was stuck in the shopping mall waiting for dad to pay for the fuckin LV bag
my hope was trampled on
my heart was shattered
I missed the Eiffel Tower and tears started running down my face
I seldom cried
but this...
I couldn't stop crying
not even when I'm on bed at night
We were leaving Paris the next day and I knew there would be no chance with Eiffel Tower

The next day, I woke up and found Dad talking to the tour guide at the hotel lobby
Dad knew how sad I was
so he talked to the tour guide and took me out alone to the Eiffel Tower before they leave Paris in the afternoon.
so eventually I went there
and tears finally stopped running down

And this time, I am carrying so much expectation with me to revisit Eiffel Tower
together with my brother

One day before my flight to Paris,
I received a message from Ryanair
The flight was cancelled because of the airport strike

That couldn't happen again right
no way it's repeating
So all my friends gave up going to France
but I'm not giving up
Last time I made it through
and so would this time be

I took a deep breath and swore to make things right
to turn things around, I extensively searched through all the possible routes from Vienna to Paris
And I found one
from Prague to Paris with a reasonable price!
So i immediately booked the flight,
together with the earliest bus from Vienna to Prague

The next day, I embarked on this journey to Paris all on my own
I got on the bus and set my alarm
and then go into a long sleep
then as I woke up, the bus was still in the middle of nowhere
far away from any trails of the Prague city
And I knew the bus was running late

I already booked my ticket from Prague main railway station to airport
so I hope I could make it before the airport shuttle departed
but apparently it was an hour late! (and it was Flixbus by the way)
so I hopped on a cab asap
and there was a fucking traffic jam!
so I was stuck for another hour...
then I arrived at the airport 20 minutes before the flight
and they did not allow me in
so I was screwed

I did so much just to see my brother in Paris
what's wrong with meeting my brother?
what's wrong with going to Paris
I have tried so hard
but I still ended up crying at the airport for an hour
I emphasise, I seldom cry of hardship
almost never
but this happens again
on me
with Paris
with France

First the cancellation
then the late bus
then the traffic jam
How could that many things happen all together at the same time
I didn't understand and I didn't know who to blame
maybe I was in a war against France in my last life
now that they try everything to enter the border

But many things indeed happen during the days I was supposed to be in Paris
the strike and fight on the street
a group of French children got strike by lightning
the huge flood that covers the whole Paris
the evacuation of the Louvre Museum
the terrorist warning put up in France

I began to think that I was shielded from something
something bad
All those unfortunates that happened out of "bad" luck
i felt a strong momentum stopping me from going there
no matter what I did
I wasn't able to get there

Yes I lost more than 200 euros on that
but who knows
Maybe I was blessed in exchange for another litre of tears

My fate with France (not yet)

Yes, I opened a new blog. Why? I'll tell you all about it before moving on to my tragic fate with France.

I am currently having exchange programme in Vienna, where people called me Erasmus (cool name isn't it?)
At first I thought Erasmus was a name, but soon I learnt that it is how they call exchange students in Europe.
Unfortunately, I am not from Europe. So strictly speaking I'm not an Erasmus student.
Nevertheless, they called me Erasmus.

Anyway, as an Erasmus, I went shisha with my friends the other night.
And there was this amazing girl I met from Singapore called Aminah.
She's the brightest queen I've ever met
She said she read my blog but that wasn't continuously updated.
Then I started to reflect on my blogging journey.

When I was young, I used to write on Xanga.
My Xanga was quite good, as in I got readers on my bullshits
Apparently after Xanga was shut down, I started going to Journalism school
where I learnt nothing (shhhh)
so I started to write formal travelling blogs (which means boring too)
but I never got readers coz there are tonnes of them out there
or because my formal writing is just too shitty
so I soon lose interests in updating them frequently.
One reason I started on formal blogs was because I thought I will at least got something to show my employers as I get a journalism job.
Then the Aminah of wisdom stopped me right there
"See? You are doing it for your future employers. You are not doing it for yourself."
Right yehh... coz I need a job I guess?
"Why not going back to your bullshit? At least someone reads it."
well she's right...
She's absolutely right!

So now I'm here starting my bullshitty blogs again
and yes, I used to write it in separate lines
the format of a poem balances off the shittiness of my bullshits

So Hi people! I'm back with my authentic style of blogging
Yes this one is absolutely unprofessional
but welcome to my authentic world! :D



Okay, I think this entry will be too long if I go on with my "fate with France"
I'm just gonna add "(not yet)" on the title
Seeya!